


Why Don't You Eat?

by mintleaftea



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Anorexia, Eating Disorder, Friendship, M/M, Other, Post BoO, supportive!Jason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-01-13
Packaged: 2018-01-08 14:26:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1133736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mintleaftea/pseuds/mintleaftea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Jason asks is out of concern; the last time he asks is out of desperation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Don't You Eat?

The first time Jason asked was out of concern and good intentions, fulfilling the promise he had made to himself to look after Nico-to be the friend he needed and deserved.  
“Why aren’t you eating?”   
Nico’s eyes had filled with something like anxiety before his expression quickly dissolved into anger. Jason felt his walls go up, felt Nico’s defensiveness before Nico had spoken. “I am eating. Moron.”   
“I just-”  
“You’re not my mother, Jason, so stop treating me like a child.” And Nico had vanished, just like that, leaving Jason frowning at a plate of untouched food with a feeling of dread sinking in his stomach.

\--  
The second time Jason asked was months later, out of anger.  
“Why aren’t you eating?” Nico glared at him from his sick bed, but the heated stare fell short of its mark. It was hard to be intimidating when you were nothing but shaking hands and pale skin, wrapped in a cocoon of white blankets that didn’t hide your shivering.   
“I am eating.” Nico had bit out, making it very clear he didn’t want to talk about it. Jason didn’t care. Jason was going to talk about it.  
“No, you’re not. They said that you were malnourished, that you-”  
“I got attacked and lost a fight. It happens. I forgot to eat while I was bleeding out, my bad.”  
“Don’t lie to me, Nico!” Jason’s hands formed into fists and his breathing was labored and heavy, “Why do you feel like you have to lie to me?”  
“I’m not lying.”  
“Yes, you are! They give you food and you give them the plate back. Are you trying to prove something, are you trying to say something? Just tell me, Nico, stop acting like a brat!”  
Nico was silent and his stare was as cold as the underworld. His face was passive as he said, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset. Please leave, Jason.”  
And Jason swore as he was pulled out of the medical tent.  
\--  
The third time Jason asked, he had asked Hazel out of desperation.  
“Why doesn’t he eat?”  
Hazel had frowned at him and crossed her arms over her chest, looking as worried as he felt. “I don’t know,” she had said, “He won’t talk to me, either. He talks to me about everything, but when I ask he just gets upset.”  
“I’m worried about him,” Jason had said, “He’s on the brink of passing out every time I see him. He shouldn’t be walking around, let alone fighting. And he trains constantly, I just…” Jason trailed off, biting his lip and looking at Nico’s sister expectantly.  
“He tells me that he’s ok and that I should stop smothering him. I baked him cookies, just because, you know,” She blushed and Jason smiled briefly before Hazel continued, “Anyway, he ate them. But he looked so...so pained when he did. I think he only ate them so he wouldn’t upset me. I asked if he was feeling sick and he said no. I’m worried, too.”  
“What do we do?” Jason had asked, feeling sick himself.  
“I don’t know.” They stood in silence for a while, then, neither having the heart to admit what they feared.  
\--  
The fourth time Jason asked was outside of Percy’s New York apartment. Sally had made a dinner for everyone, celebrating Percy’s graduation. Nico had eaten then, because people had kept looking at him to make sure he was, and because Nico didn’t like upsetting the people he cared about, because Sally was the mother he had never had and he couldn’t bare to see her look of disappointment when he refused another helping.  
The others were still inside, enjoying the warmth of a peaceful home full of friends. Jason had followed Nico out, and found him retching, clutching his stomach and shuddering as he gagged on his own vomit.  
“Why don’t you eat, Nico?” Jason asked as he knelt down to hold Nico as he gasped for breath, to keep him upright. He wasn’t as shocked as he should have been by the chill of Nico’s skin.  
And this time Nico didn’t get angry at him, didn’t run away or lash out. He just sighed and fell against Jason, no energy left in him to fight and too tired to run or hide.   
“Because I’m not dead.”   
Jason didn’t understand, but he nodded anyway and waited for Nico to continue.  
“In...in the underworld, when I talk to ghosts- normal ghosts of normal people, I mean- they don’t talk about much. Nothing important, really, but...but they’ll always talk about food. How they want to eat, how much they miss it. And when I summon the dead, the clamour for the food I give them- they’re so hungry and so desperate.”  
“Oh.” Jason felt his arms wrap tighter around Nico, face falling as Nico’s voice fell, a whisper on the wind next to Jason’s ear.  
“In Tartarus, too, when I was there. That’s when I noticed it- the hunger. I saw monster fall and get eaten by their own- torn to shreds for the sake of food. I felt hunger too, but I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t handle it, any of it,” Nico’s voice shook and he squeezed his eyes shut, “The hunger of humanity is terrifying, Jason, and I saw it- what that hunger is, raw and bloody and terrible. Being stuck in that jar was like bliss, because I could finally escape it. How could I eat...how can I even think about food or hunger or anything after seeing what it really is? It makes me sick, thinking about it. I hate eating, it makes me loathe myself and what I am and everything it stands for- like food reminds me, constantly. It-it-” Nico shuddered against Jason, sobbing and retching and shaking.   
Jason didn’t let go, but he didn’t say anything. What could be said? Nico was in his arms, vulnerable and broken and Jason had never been more aware of how lucky he was and how glad he was that he never suffered as Nico had. It was selfish, but he knew that he could never feel what this boy felt.  
But he still cared, and he’d still be there no matter what, because Nico needed someone.  
“I’m sorry, Nico. I’m so sorry. I’m here if you want me to be. I’ll do anything-”  
“Just stay, please-” Nico whimpered, and Jason realized how tired Nico must truly be, “Stay. And don’t...don’t tell anyone, ok? I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be sorry. Of course I won’t tell. I’ll always stay with you.”


End file.
